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10.16.2010

I haven't been here for so long. But it is fall again and I find myself warming to the idea of coming back home, so to speak...into the house more, yes, but also back to the comforts of home. We moved our dining table last week so suddenly our small space has opened up into a huge living area. Tristan is so happy to have more space...I don't even think he realizes how happy he seems at the wider space. Do you like it, I asked him. Yes, he said. But he sits in his little rocking chair, reading a book happily, rocking gently back and forth. I am surprised at how content he is to read on his own, even though of course he doesn't read words, just looks at pictures and surely remembers the story from an earlier reading, but he talks quietly to himself while reading and he is content. He is growing so fast. I miss him as a baby but of course wouldn't trade him back for anything. He wakes in the morning, full of ideas and things to say. Mommy? Do you know what I don't want daddy to do? I don't want him to burn any ropes. What? I ask. Do you remember, mommy, do you remember when we lived in the other house and he burned the end of that rope? Yes. I remember. To keep it from unraveling. But Tristan doesn't want daddy to do that again (did he have a dream? How and why did he suddenly remember this?) He tells his daddy this and daddy says, o.k., he won't do it again.

He is such a lovely and thoughtful boy. I am not nearly patient enough.

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