I haven't been here for so long. But it is fall again and I find myself warming to the idea of coming back home, so to speak...into the house more, yes, but also back to the comforts of home. We moved our dining table last week so suddenly our small space has opened up into a huge living area. Tristan is so happy to have more space...I don't even think he realizes how happy he seems at the wider space. Do you like it, I asked him. Yes, he said. But he sits in his little rocking chair, reading a book happily, rocking gently back and forth. I am surprised at how content he is to read on his own, even though of course he doesn't read words, just looks at pictures and surely remembers the story from an earlier reading, but he talks quietly to himself while reading and he is content. He is growing so fast. I miss him as a baby but of course wouldn't trade him back for anything. He wakes in the morning, full of ideas and things to say. Mommy? Do you know what I don't want daddy to do? I don't want him to burn any ropes. What? I ask. Do you remember, mommy, do you remember when we lived in the other house and he burned the end of that rope? Yes. I remember. To keep it from unraveling. But Tristan doesn't want daddy to do that again (did he have a dream? How and why did he suddenly remember this?) He tells his daddy this and daddy says, o.k., he won't do it again.

He is such a lovely and thoughtful boy. I am not nearly patient enough.

Sunday visitors

dove nest on balcony

My hubby told me once that a bird never returns to an old nest...I couldn't see why not...a perfectly good nest that is still in place would be a perfect place to go. But I'm not an expert at these things. You can imagine my surprise then, when I stepped out onto our balcony yesterday with my son, just after he woke from his nap, to find that the nest above the lamp that had been made several years ago by a pair of doves, was being inhabited again. I must have surprised the little dove, since we rarely go out there. 

We were a little afraid that she was alone, as a few days before, there was evidence of some dove trouble. Several little feathers were found under the tree near the balcony. My husband was worried - crises in the natural world bother him - as he likes to fix things, and he could do nothing if this pretty dove's mate was gone. He had been told doves mate for life, and if one dove dies, the other will die soon after or commits something of a suicide (I have no idea if this is true, this is what he was told.)

My husband went inside feeling a little down while my son and I remained outside to read on a blanket (June has been uncommonly wonderful to us weather-wise). As we sat there we finally saw Mr. Dove fly up to the wire nearby the balcony, and no sooner did he land than Mrs. Dove took off to some undisclosed location in my neighbor's yard or thereabout. Mr. Dove took off quickly, following her. A minute later I heard their sweet coos.

I went to tell my husband what I'd seen. He said, "Thank God! You don't know what a big weight has been lifted from my shoulders." He said that the male dove was bringing the female dove some food to eat, his duty during the long process of egg-sitting. I then told him that just before we came inside, we could hear them making their cooing noises. He said, "They're saying 'I love you. I missed you.' The female is saying, 'Thank you for the food.'"

What a sweet Sunday.

Kite history and other stories

Kite-flying/trying

Yesterday it was a balmy California day and there was just enough wind to try out our new kite! We took it to the park and tried to get it up but by the time we got there and walked diagonally through the back-to-back ball games, the wind had mostly died down. We were unsuccessful this time but will try again - today is looking a bit breezy too...

I have a great memory of flying a kite with my mom. We took our kite to the local junior high school field out behind our house and I recall mom yelling, "O.k. now RUN, RUN, RUN!" And I ran and ran and ran and the kite was so high in the sky. I could feel the tug of the spool of string in my hand and I remember thinking, "I can't believe how high it is!" It was an exhilarating feeling to have gotten that kite up in the air.

I don't have a snapshot of this event except in my mind's eye so I cannot convey it in any way except through words. This is one of the reasons I love oral history so much. I love sitting down and listening to a story from someone who lived during a time way before I was born. The feeling of the event told shines through the words and conveys the event in the rise and fall of the voice and the emotion of the event always comes through.

Last year I got the chance to interview my dad through Storycorps, a wonderful oral-history project through NPR that gives two people the chance to sit down and have an hour-long interview. A Storycorps booth provides everything you need: a sound-recording system, a table, a dimmed, soundproof room, and a facilitator to help you through the technicalities. All you need is someone to interview and your questions. Afterwards, you get a CD of the interview and that interview also gets its very own spot in the Library of Congress, so your great-grandchildren or someone else who may need to do research on your family can listen to it someday too. NPR also has a Storycorps broadcast that you can listen to on your local public radio - that comes in podcast form too - my favorite way of listening!

Since I'm on the subject of the Library of Congress, let me include here the reason for its place on my side bar. The Library of Congress has this neat section called the American Memory Digital Library. All you need is what's in front of you: a computer with speakers. Listen to oral histories, folk music recordings, ex-slave narratives; see advertisements from the 1800's, maps from the Civil War, photos from the turn of the century...this place is a history lover's delight. Anyway, click on the link above and you can browse the collection by topic. This is where I'd be all day if I didn't have a thousand other things to do! Enjoy!

Happy New Year! No rooz Mobarak!

Happy New Year! Friday was March 20, the first day of spring. In our house this is a big deal - my husband is from Iran and the Persian New Year is the biggest celebration of the year. We made a haf-seen, which is an arrangement each family makes in their home with seven things that begin with the letter "S" - in Farsi. Each item (grass grown from grain, coins, mirror, goldfish, garlic, saffron, a hyacinth and other items that are placed in arrangement for beauty and enhancement) represents something, for instance, rebirth, bounties of the earth, a new start, beauty, light. It is a wonderful tradition and I enjoy the symbolism of it. I don't get as excited about it as my husband, but he doesn't get as excited about Christmas as I do either! Nevertheless it is a wonderful way to ring in the springtime and celebrate along with the trees and flowers and birds.

Yesterday we went to the farmers market in Davis and got some organic veggies. Not so unusual but we are on a kick since leaving Esalen and having been fed so wonderfully for 5 days. All organic veggies fresh from the garden and whole grains - brown rice, quinoa - at every meal. Great toppings and homemade dressings to choose from...mmmm...we were spoiled and came home with an abundance of energy and feeling great! We just want to continue this into our own lives with such a running head start. Keeping away from sugar and dairy is hard sometimes, but the payoff is wonderful when I'm able to do it.

This morning my son woke up yelling for me - he had had a bad dream about DINOSAURS!! Specifically T-Rex. He is afraid of T-Rex, and turns the pages of all books that have pictures of T-Rex. Long necks however, I'm thinking, Brachiosauruses and Brontosauruses, he likes and thinks are helpful. I attribute this to the book "The Littlest Dinosaur" by Michael Foreman. Great book for children. We have checked this book out from the library continuously for about 2 months. I'm afraid if one day we don't have it there might be some tears, but it is slowly going out of our reading circulation. The story idea has not and we are constantly talking about Mr. Long Neck saving -someone- by pulling them out of the mud. Anyway, whenever Tristan is scared he holds his tummy as if to show where the fear is! Amazing...I told someone about this at the Gangaji retreat and they said that's where fear comes from - the solar plexus (if I'm remembering correctly).

It's Sunday and we took our almost ritual family walk - along the river this time - and saw so many beautiful wildflowers! I never knew such beauty could proliferate along a polluted river! Tristan got his train tracks too, although not the train ride unfortunately. The track was under construction, hopefully a sign of infrastructure dollars at work? Some wildflowers we picked and Tristan with his daddy.