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The beach blahs

tree of leaves - collage card scene -not the best repro here, but it is what it is. OOh, some blogger I read doesn't like that saying...who is it?

(sorry if this posted more than once!)

How is it possible to see ourselves as others see us?

It seems so obvious to me, when someone rubs me the wrong way that they should easily see what it is they do...that they have been rude or dismissive or unthoughtful. I want to say, "How can it be o.k. with you to be that way?" But seeing that I also occasionally make others feel the same way, and I don't see it about myself, surely others don't see these things in themselves either. How can we see ourselves more clearly, to put it bluntly, in order to be better people and be more loving to those we love? To see ourselves in the worst light and make positive changes? How can we even know sometimes, what we do? (And an important question along with this one: how do we do all of this without being too narcissistic?)

I think I need to remember what to be grateful for-

~a lovely vacation
~a son who is full of laughter and light
~a husband who is conscientious
~parents who live nearby
~a new appreciation for eating healthfully
~new fruit- it's always wonderful to try a whole food with a new taste never before sampled

A list of everything I'm grateful for never fails to give me a little lift.

ps. All of my questions are NOT rhetorical. Please share if you have wisdom or knowledge on this subject!


kyndale said...

wow genny. I think about this a lot too. The responsibility also belongs to the other person. If I make someone mad, or I annoy someone they could say so right? As long as it's kind. Well, I could talk about this all day long.

Are you still on vacation?

gardenmama said...

A beautiful post Genny!
I am happy to read your loving and truthful thoughts these are certainly things I also try to be very mindful of. I think motherhood gives us so much more tenderness to others in noticing how we want our children to be treated and how we hope for our children to show love and light to others. Our blogs are another extension of our everyday lives and I truly hope to show light truth and inspiration in my space and really feel grateful to read posts like yours and to connect with truly loving, gentle honest souls. But to answer your question and it is a really good one that I ask myself often, I don't know... I think being mindful and connecting in these spaces and through reading positive and inspiring books seems to cultivate these thoughts... I look forward to hearing others thoughts on this, good question Genny!

The Well-Rounded Child said...

Gratefulness can go a long way - I was considering the other day my friend's husband who is in the Army. He is stationed in Afghanistan and is in a very dangerous area. I think about him often when I am feeling stressed out or down about something in my life. Sometimes, I think we are all a bit spoiled and take for granted the luxuries and privileges we have in our daily lives.

Things I am grateful for:
-family & friends
-an education
-opportunities to help others
-health and wellness
-freedom - to think and do what I please, for the most part
-protection - from police to service people, I am grateful for those who put their lives on the line for us
-peace - the ability to slow down and find that quiet place in each of us to consider our gifts :O)

nicola said...

what a thought-provoking question!
i love your gratitude list. i used to do one daily. it makes a big difference in attitude. we all get down, hurt, tired, overwhelmed. but we are all so very lucky, aren't we?
hugs to you.

... said...

Your post got me thinking. The previous comment about our experiences of motherhood helping us think about the gaps in kindness that happen between people is right on, I think. Looking at it this way, I see that the work is in both directions.

I realize that I'm trying to teach my daughter both to be mindful of her own actions and their impact on others, by teaching her how to read her own and others' emotions, by helping her listen more carefully, and by teaching her that certain ways of speaking and actions are not kind and not o.k. But, I'm also very conscious of the importance of modeling self-assured and self-respecting behavior. When on the playground, for example, if another child pushes in front of her or something and she lets it happen, I am careful to model assertive (not aggressive or unkind) body and spoken language to ask that child to wait. I also try to do this in adult interactions, too--not just for her benefit, of course. I know that not everyone can do these things, but I do my best to do my best and to be the change I wish to see.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to think about this and put it to words. I think it will be helpful in my parenting and in my practice, and, oh yeah, in just trying to negotiate every day relationships!